Where two next?

Antipodean travelogue through the eyes of two - one textile and one building lover. It'll be hard to differentiate the two!

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Being walked on......literally.

Let me preface this post by saying that I never had a massage prior to visiting Hong Kong. Yes I’m afraid we are still writing about Hong Kong, but I promise to get to New Zealand before long, just a few more posts.

As part of the massage package offered in the hotel, you could have a sauna prior to the massage. As it was included and as I am always anxious to squeeze the last drop of value from any experience, I was not going to miss out even if I had one before.

After the sauna you were given plastic pants and a robe and asked to adjourn to the relaxation room. I tried to explain that I was from another continent not incontinent, but it made no difference, plastic pants it was. After a choice of drinks, I had the orange juice, you were escorted to the massage room where I was greeted by a typically small framed Chinese lady. As Sharon pointed out on a previous post they are quite a petite nation.

I must admit I was slightly disappointed by this, as I really felt that I needed some brute force to get the “black” knots out of my shoulders. I proceeded to lie face down and before long the torture began. Oh my God could she inflict pain. There were times I wondered whether my frame could actually take the strain and how much oxygen my lungs could actually hold when my ribs were touching my spine. Ever time it eased I would gasp for breath and wondered whether the experience was akin to being killed by a Boa.

I could not figure out how such a slight frame could exert such pressure until I was given a small clue. The masseur proceeded to put the base of her foot into the palm of my hand while putting the other on my elbow joint. She then proceeded to do a small jig which would have made the “Lord of the River dance” jealous. I suspected that she was using her feet the whole time but couldn’t understand how she could balance herself especially when she was using both here feet to give me a “bee sting”. ( A term we used to use in school for when you grab someone’s arm and twist their skin in opposite directions to inflict pain.) Something that takes some dexterity when using your hands!

When I turned around to receive my head massage I notice “two parallel” bars hanging from the ceiling and concluded that, unless she had somehow swapped places with a sumo wrestler, she had been completing a gymnastic parallel bar exercise on my back the whole time.

To her credit I left the room un-knotted and quite relaxed, if somewhat relieved that the experience was over. Sharon on the other hand a much more gentle experience.

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Trade Description Act

Don't get me wrong I don't spend all my time in the drink section of the supermarkets but as I was picking a nice bottle of white, from the Marlborough region, I happened to notice the Wexford Irish Cream Ale in the fridge.

Upon investigation it turns out that it is brewed in England so I guess the receipe must be Irish! Anyway, being a Wexford Man, I just hope it tastes better than Kilkenny.


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