Where two next?

Antipodean travelogue through the eyes of two - one textile and one building lover. It'll be hard to differentiate the two!

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Things you might need to know. (Part 1)

I have complied a list of things you might like to know if you are ever thinking about visiting New Zealand:

How to fix everything with a piece of No. 8 wire. ( Kiwis are famous for their ingenuity and self-sufficiency. It is said that Kiwis can create amazing things — all they need is ‘a piece of Number 8 wire’. No 8 wire is a certain gauge of wire that was incredibly popular for use as fencing wire around New Zealand’s many farms. Ironically, until 1963, it was imported from other countries. Because No. 8 wire was widely available, it was used for a variety of tasks, and it has become a symbol of kiwi adaptability.)

How to flatten your vowels so Pool Hall becomes Pull Hull. (When we heard Pull Hull the other day we thought it was the slang for a seedy nightclub.) But no, it's where you play pull.

How to drive your Ute through the Bottle Shop (off license) drive through. You have heard of Burger King well here they have the Liqueur King!

How to tell the difference between a "flat white" and a "long black" (types of coffee)

How to survive the winter with no central heating system. (Why?).

How to understand Swiss Rounding. If it says $9.98 on the price tag it will cost you $10.00 bucks. (Just a suggestion, why not say it's 10 bucks in the first place!).

How to shag a sheep (according to Australians)

How to pass the VTNZ (NCT). Apparently just get your car there and it will pass, if you can't get it there then there's a 50/50 chance it will pass.

How to pronounce Bach (name of their beach houses.) Pronounced Batch.

How to walk barefoot in the city?

How to shop, they shut early on a Saturday?

How to say the following, Awesome, No Worries, and Sweet As. (Not Sweet Ass as some poor American lady thought!)

How to say "thank you driver" as you leave the bus.

How to survive the tropical climate. (no problem there, it's not!)

How to deal with an earth quake. Just carry on regardless, they happen here all the time. Australians call them the Shaky Isles for a reason!

Know that if the car at the junction ahead couldn't possibly pull out in front of you, they will!

Know that a Moscow Mule is the same as a Mojito only with Ginger Beer.

Know that the emergency number is not 999 or 911 for that matter but 111. Wikipedia explains as follows: The numbers 1 through to 9 on the dial phones in New Zealand and the UK were reversed, i.e., the digit "9" in the UK is where the digit "1" is in New Zealand, the digit "8" in the UK is where the digit "2" is in New Zealand.....I know we are "down under" but do they have to reverse everything!

Know that "dub dub dub" is not some precursor to a GAA match but "w w w" shortened for the radio adds. A typical address would be dub.dub.dub.blank.nz

Know there's no need to panic if you are at the theatre/ concert and there's no drinks interval. You can bring the drinks into the venue. (Could you imagine the chaos back home, they might aswel perform in the bar!)

Know that you give way to people turning right. That means if you are driving down the main street of some town and you want to turn left, you have to let the on coming car turning right go before you. (A little bit extreme if you ask me.)

Know that jandals are actually sandals! Apparently a NZ manufacture came up with the name from the fact that they were Japanese sandals.

Know that Hungry Jack's is Burger king but with an Eddie Rockets style interior.

Know that on Easter weekend the shops will be shut but the bars open! (Again imagine this scenario in Ireland)

I'm sure a lot of these would be helpful if you wanted to impersonate an Aussie also. I'm also sure there will be more, but that's all I can think of for the moment, hence part 1


Labels: ,